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Discussion Starter #41
Re: The most useless thing I found on the net today is... (AggroJo)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by AggroJo »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">I bet that goober in the "SLOT" tshirt gets more action than he know what to do with. </TD></TR></TABLE>

If by "action" you mean sitting at the computer with a dish-rag, a bottle of Jergens, & his credit card to pay $.89/min for live web-cam footage, then I'd have to agree with you.

 
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Discussion Starter #42
Re: The most useless thing I found on the net today is... (Jacka$$)



I have so much crap to get done at work today, and I'm not accomplishing anything!
 
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Discussion Starter #43
Re: The most useless thing I found on the net today is... (Dave)

Tell me about it, all you did was post up a little red "X".


I feel you pain. Lately I've had real problems acomplishing anything at work...


Edit:

Ahh, that's better! Wicked track!
 
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Discussion Starter #44
Re: The most useless thing I found on the net today is... (Dave)

Hmmm, and we were supposed to be at Road America today!
 
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Discussion Starter #45
Re: The most useless thing I found on the net today is... (Gerg)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Gerg »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Hmmm, and we were supposed to be at Road America today!</TD></TR></TABLE>

I know, I truly am buried with work too. I just need to disconnect my internet connection for a while.
 
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Discussion Starter #47
Re: The most useless thing I found on the net today is... (Lobster)

320.2!
 
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Discussion Starter #50
The most useless thing I found on the net today is...

I know I posted something up about this thing awhile ago, but I still want one...

 
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Discussion Starter #51
The most useless thing I found on the net today is...

A tie between this vid (I copped it from the motorsports lounge)

& The following list sent to me by CychoSports from entensity.net

Bring back Memories?

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story: One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,"..And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy crap! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
 
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Discussion Starter #52
Re: The most useless thing I found on the net today is... (Jacka$$)

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Jacka$$ »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">
25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.</TD></TR></TABLE>

Busted


I also like the one about the pig...
 
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Discussion Starter #54
Time to resurect this crap old thread

This was e-mailed to me this morning, Some of you may have seen it before...

If you live in St. Louis, you'll understand this. If you've ever visited St. Louis you'll understand this. If you've never been to St. Louis, this is your first and ONLY warning.

Gravois Road can only be pronounced by a native. Ditto for Spoede and Chouteau. Highway 40 is pronounced Highway Farty. And by the way, it's really Interstate 64.

A St. Louisan from South County has never been to North County and vice versa.

Olive Street Road is really Olive Boulevard.

West County is a place but not identified on the map. But St. Louisians often refer to West County as if it as a city in itself.

To live in Parkway simply means that your kids go to school in the Parkway School District. Parkway is not a city, it's a school district.

St. Louisans were aghast when the federal government required them to redo the highway signs to indicate that the federal highway went to cities in other states instead of local municipalities.

There are 2 exits on Highway 40 for Clayton Road and 2 for Big Bend.

Out in St. Charles means any place west of the Missouri River from the City of St. Charles out to about Wentzville, MO.

All old ladies with blue hair in Cadillacs (driving on Olive west of 270) have the right of way.

Laclede Station Road mysteriously changes names as you cross intersections. As do McCausland, Lindbergh, Watson, Reavis Barracks, Fee Fee, McKnight, Airport Road, Midland, Olive and Clarkson.

You can go all four directions on Highway 270: North and South in West County, East and West in South County, and East and West in North County. Confused? So are the St. Louis drivers.

There are 54 school districts on the Missouri side alone -- each of which has their own school bus system and scheduled times to block traffic.

A 25 cents coin is called a "quarter". (Rymes with water.) But in South St. Louis water is pronounced war-ter.

Any celebrity that once spent time in town is referred to as being from St. Louis.

The outdoor amphitheatre in Forest Park is called The Opera.

To have dinner on the Hill means you are going to an Italian restaurant in a certain neighborhood (with no hill.)

When a St. Louisian ask, "So where did you go to school?", they don't mean college, they mean, "which high school? "

To be called a Hoosier is not a compliment and it has nothing to do with being from the state of Indiana.

If you don't follow every game played by the Cardinals and also hates the Chicago Cubs you are an outsider.

There are 75 "official neighborhoods" in the City of St. Louis. St. Louisans commonly give directions (especially for restaurants) to strangers based on these neighborhoods which aren't marked on any maps that are handed out by the tourist board, the AAA or Mapquest. For example, "Just drive right through Dogtown". (Or Carondolet.)

There are 91 official municipalities in St. Louis County. Each Municipality has its own rules, regulations, and often their own police departments. More importantly, most have their own snow removal contracts so it's not uncommon to drive down a road in winter and have one block plowed, the next salted, the next piled with snow and the last partially cleared by residents wanting to get out of their driveways.

If you are offered a soda you are being offered a carbonated soft drink.

Toasted ravioli is actually fried.

It's five a-clock. (Not five O'clock.)

Clayton is the general area encompassing the cities of Clayton, Brentwood, or Richmond Heights.

No native St. Louisan knows that Lindbergh runs from South County to North County! And, if you tell them, they will not believe you. Lindbergh belongs to every neighborhood except Kirkwood, who had the nerve to creatively change the name to "Kirkwood Road".

Highway 270 is our daily version of the NASCAR circuit.

Any brand of sunflower seeds is called, Polly Seeds.

YIELD signs are for decoration only. No native St. Louisan will ever grasp the concept.

Lambert Field and St. Louis International Airport really are the same place. The East Terminal, however, is a different place.

Stop signs mean just slow down and coast through.

Never ever try to cross a bridge in St. Louis during rush hour unless you have a port-a-potty in the car.

The outer belt is Highway 270 which turns into Highway 255 in South County.

The inner belt is Highway 170 and if it's a 3XX number it's an outer belt.

If you need directions to O'Fallon, make sure to specify Illinois or Missouri.

The City of Ballwin actually proposed that drivers use connecting strip mall parking lots to get from place to place rather than drive on Manchester Road This would to cut the traffic on Manchester.


I've witnessed nearly all of these, except for the sunflower seed thing, & most of the people I know do know that Lindbergh goes from SO CO to NOR CO...
 
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Discussion Starter #55
"Laclede Station Road mysteriously changes names as you cross intersections. As do McCausland, Lindbergh, Watson, Reavis Barracks, Fee Fee, McKnight, Airport Road, Midland, Olive and Clarkson. "

yo yo yo south city, what's up with morganford? you cross one block too many an it's "morgan ford". what's the deal

also, I AM st.louis. and i never heqard of "polly seeds. nor did any of my coworkers.

what school did you go to? that is SO st.louis
 
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Discussion Starter #56
Re: (Nick Novice)

They did forget "pork steaks" (try asking someone on the east or west coast & see what they say) & "warshers" (washers) though...

 
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Discussion Starter #58
Re: (Nick Novice)

Never heard of 'Polly Seeds' either...

The whole High School thing is so someone can stereotype you and pretend to know something about your background by what school you went to...small minded.

The rest of that is all true
 
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Re: (Nick Novice)

Speaking of Hwy 40, try giving someone directions to my house that doesn't understand the "language". Okay take Hwy 40, which is really I-64. But the problem is that I-64 ends in O'Fallon... Missouri that is, way before you get to my place. Hwy 40 makes a left at I-70 and goes west, 10 miles after I-64 ended. You should really continue on Hwy 61 North at that point, to head towards my house at the I-70 interchange. Although Hwy 61 really crosses all the way into downtown... St. Louis that is... not Clayton or somewhere else. The problem is that is they have to ask someone where Hwy 61 is at no one will know. You can also try to tell them 40/61, but they have no idea of which way to go in Lake St. Louis then... which is another city, not related any way to the actual St. Louis, but a town on a lake called Lake St. Louis. But those kids go to Wentzville high school, the same as my kids will, although we live in Foristell. To makes things worse you can actually live in Wentzville zip code and go to Francis Howell, which has all their kids on a tri-mester system instead of semester, which means even in the middle of a summer you could get caught in a traffic jam waiting for a bus trying to take 40/61/64 to my place from the city of St. Louis, St. Charles, Chesterfield, Town and Country, Clayton, Ladue or some other place only a few miles away.

And people wonder why we can't drive.
 
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