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Panigaliscious
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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I am currently shopping for a new (used) bike. Amazing how much junk is out there, and how people abuse their rides as the rule rather than exception. Equally amazing is how many people do a poor job of listing the bikes and then wonder why they get lowballed or no calls at all.

Here a few tips to ensure you are stuck with that two-wheeler forever.

1) Make sure your asking price is within 10% of full MSRP when the bike was new. Referring to your Superhawk as a limited edition because you decided to cover up the road rash with a set of Tapeworks graphics is bonus.

2) Have one name on your email/phone in the ad, then reply with another number to call and another email. It really works great of you change your name a couple of times in the responses as well. It really gives buyers a good feeling...

3) Only have crappy phone pictures of 100X100 resolution available for the ad, preferably taken at night without a flash. Even better don't even have pictures. never send anything through an email request.

4) Make sure not to disclose anything important in the ad, such as a SALVAGE title (this was at a Ducati dealership!).

5) Make sure you put somd God-awful paint job on the bike that is utterly repulsive. I suggest Krylon spray cans and masking tape, or perhaps a desert camo motif.

6) Make sure early in the ad you describe the bike using words like "perfect", "mint", or "near showroom". Then later slip in how it jumps out of second gear or that the fairing has a crack the size of Kim K's VJJ. Or just wait until the poor slob makes the trip to look at it to disclose the problem areas.

7) Leave some fairly expensive and very important thing mechanically wrong with the bikes. Then wildly underestimate the repair cost. Example: "needs alternator, only about $50 to fix". Example 2: "engine knocking, new rod bearings are $83 at dealer cost I can get you a deal".

8) never wash the bike for the pictures you aren't supposed to take for the ad.

9) Grossly overestimate the performance of your 15 year-old bike. Make sure to say how your 600 Katana regularly beats brand-new "Gixxers and Ninjas" due to the D&D slip on and jet kit you put on it.

10) Refer to the bike using the wrong name or features. Key words would be to refer to your CBR as a Ninja, your two-seater Ducati as a Dieposto, and your crashed and thrashed R6 as a custom streetfighter. Bonus points for referring to it having "new break pads".
 

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Another few things:

When the sap who's interested in buying the bike comes around, make sure the battery's dead. Trying starting a bike with jump cables is a great way to show people your bike has been properly looked after.

In the "performance upgrades" make sure to advertise the fact you covered the bike in tacky, low quality ergal bolts, fuel caps, chain adjusters etc. Bonus points if they are in a color nobody in his right mind would consider, like purple or yellow. Not gold, yellow. Extra bonus point if you've thrown away the original bits.

Ask a premium just because you have a low quality slip on fitted. Brag how it "drastically" increases horsepower and/or allows the bike to "wheelie on power". Mr Akrapovic, you got it all wrong!

When a potential buyer comes around in the evening, make sure the only form of lightning available is a dim lightbulb attached to the ceiling on a piece of wire.

When you say "always garaged", forget to mention the "garage" is the dampest cellar/shed in a ten miles radius.

When the buyer says he's interested but asks for a good rebate because the bike needs a new chain/sprockets combo and new headstock bearings refuse and brag you have people lining up with cash at hand. That will convince him.
 

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I've been dealing with many of the above mentioned things in my search for a used Ducati.
Why on earth would someone buy a 996 and paint it blue or white?
I was looking at a few 749s and nobody can tell when, if at all, the belts were last changed and valves inspected/adjusted.
Then there are the ass clowns who expect a grand more for an older 749 that has been dropped than a newer pristine 999!
 

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This what you had in mind Mr. Burns....lol



Engine and frame are perfect and it runs fast and strong with good compression and of course no tank slap. Seals in forks are clean and new breaks put on before the ride. Just drove it here from Las vegas on Sunday. Looking to sell as a quik flip or invest in it and make much more later. Must have and show motorcycle endorsment to ride. Does need a new ignition switch and speedometer but thats like $300 bucks on ebay. Everything else is cosmetics. Like I said its something to invest in. If interested please call or txt Brandon @ 5052387865 might consider trade for cruiser of equal value.






  • Location: obo e camelback
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PostingID: 2514415163
 

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Panigaliscious
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
That young man has been obviously employing the Burns Tactics of never Selling. Now he just needs to want $6800 or so out of the bike and respond with an email from a guy named Tim and sign at the end with the name of Kelly.

Seriously, that is a $1000 parts bike unless you really want to spend months making it presentable. What Laz-E-Boy recliner died to make those seat covers?
 

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Panigaliscious
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I should have saved an ad I saw a couple of weeks ago for a TL1000R.

It said the bike is great for popping wheelies and busting hymens. You can't make this stuff up. Klassy.
 

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Ugh, i so feel the pain you are going through. Its not just bikes either. Is like everybody is forgetting how to put up even the simplest of ads. Guess this is the other side of the double edged sword called the internet. Also, those whole 'send me your number and i'll text you a pic of the vehicle' ones are great too.
 

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Panigaliscious
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
My point about disclosing Salvage title is this ad, from the newest Ducati dealership in MO.
Ducati 2007 Superbike 1098

Pretty crappy ad, although the first thing the salesmen told me was that it was salvage and on consignment. Never did even bother to look at the bike. If the owner thinks he is going to get full money for a salvage bike he is delusional.

The multiple personality seller was the VF1000R near me.
~~~~VF1000R Honda
Different name on the ad than the email address he responded with and then signed a different name at the end. Different phone number in the response email than the ad. Very odd.

Still haven't seen a picture. I should just say "send me a readable picture of the title, and another picture of the VIN on the headstock, and then a picture of them together before we go any further.
 

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***1995 harley davidson***

The BULLSHIT out there is SO thick right now, middle of summer and everyone is asking stupid prices for JUNK!

Went to look at a 1990 VTR250 for a buddy yesterday, kid wanted $1300, thing was beat to shit, he said how much will you give me? I said I won't even buy it!
 

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Harley

Title Frame and Engine is the only thing that is worth anything. But at least he was honest about the condition!!!

First rule of sales is always to ask for the Sale. If you dont put it out there no one will look at it or even consider buying it.
 

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Panigaliscious
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9,103 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
1998 Kawasaki Ducati

The spelling of Kawasaki Tecate makes this ad. Wrong year, has Ducati in the title. Real attention to detail.

My guess is Cody had to throw the ad together because he was late to defend his dissertation.:rolleyes:
 

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A few months ago I saw an ad for a 1985 Honda V65 Magnum! He claimed he bought it new and was the only owner! It actually looked very nice.
I think 25% of the Magna owners refer to their bike as Magnums.

And all the '87-'88 Magna owners call their bikes Super Magnas (or Super Magnums).:rolleyes:


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