It may show 12.3v, but the battery may not have enough amps to crank or run accessories. Is it an old battery?
The ECU probably has nothing to do with this. ECU doesn't control the radio or the headlights (only engine management). The radio & lights are also independant of each other on the fuse block, so my suggestion would be either
a) bad battery
b) loose battery connection somewhere
c) improperly grounded electrical device
Follow each battery lead to see where it goes and make sure the connection to the block or chassis are tight and not corroded. If all of that checks out, I'd say bad battery.
Also, have you double checked all of your spark plug wire leads? This problem seems really odd to me because having the key in the accessory position wouldn't send spark through the wires, but since the plugs are the only thing you changed, I'd suspect that you may have inadvertantly bumped or moved something with the electrical system. As I said before, ECU is probably NOT the issue here.
-DanB
http://www.benferperformance.com
edited for not reading the original post. lol