Harley Jokes

Let me start by saying that where I live has a big biker community...and for the most part all makes and models get along well. So this completely dressed out Harley style guy gets off his chopper in the coffee shop parking lot (maybe 40 bikes there mostly sport bikes but a handful of Harleys). And i say "hey thats a nice "Honda" did you just get it?" I laugh and he chuckles with me...and then goes on to tell me these 2 jokes.

1. 95% of Harleys are still on the road..........the other 5% made it home!

2. What do Dogs and Harleys have in common.........They both like to ride in the back of pick-up trucks!

I had never heard those before...and laughed hard

H8

Funny, but I -Hardly- laughed.

Comming from the ol' --- Hardly Ableson

Whats the difference between a Harley and a Vaccuum?
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Position of the dirtbag

If Harley-Davidson made airplanes, would you fly in one?

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by AZ Scott &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">If Harley-Davidson made airplanes, would you fly in one?</TD></TR></TABLE>

Sure, as long as they didn't ask me to grab the prop and spin it when they yell "contact".

I saw this at a GNF Race (Thats Flat Track)

If Harley Riders ride Rotaxes and God rides a Harley. What do Harley riders know that God doesnt?

This should keep you guys entertained for a bit:

http://www.goingfaster.com/angst/harleyjokes.htm

http://www.goingfaster.com/angst/

Those are friggin hilarious. Just forwarded them to my Dad who rides an HD. Me thinks I won't be getting anything for Christmas now.

This is a great wav file: http://www.goingfaster.com/angst/carlin.wav

This one killed me....

"If I had wanted to make a life long career out of working with the mentally retarded, I would have either gone into Special Ed or opened up a Harley-Davidson dealership..."
-BLACK ECHO

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by AZ Scott &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">If Harley-Davidson made airplanes, would you fly in one?</TD></TR></TABLE>

Umm, no. but some people do. Check out http://www.hog-air.com for a Harley Powered plane.

My favourite quote from the sites FAQ really shows they are a typical harley sort.

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Even though I like the sound of a good engine, I currently fly in a "sound sensitive" area with neighbor complaints to deal with...... are there muffler options and what problems, performance-wise/weight-wise, do you think this would cause?
( Yes we can make it quiet. A good 2 into 1 exhaust with baffles will give a slight increase in performance. We just went for the sound.)</TD></TR></TABLE>

Imagine this dickhead flying around near you making a racket and leaking oil on your house..

The disclaimer fills me with confidence to fly in it too.
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Disclaimer
Harley-Davidson ® engines were not developed and have not been tested or approved for use in aircraft.
Harley-Davidson Motor company disclaims any and all responsibility
for damage or injury arising from use of it's engines in these aircraft.
</TD></TR></TABLE>

So not only can it leak oil on your house it can crash into it as well.

<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote &raquo;</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">If Harley-Davidson made airplanes, would you fly in one?</TD></TR></TABLE>

Boy are some of these old. Last time I saw this one someone replied "If Ducati built a plane would you fly in it?"

None of those jokes of unreliability apply anymore as,Quality is top notch. The Harley is very popular though and,it's funny how newbies become instantly "hardcore". I was always prodded as a sportster,and still a Buell owner to upgrade to the so called "big" bikes that are anything but an XL model. After assembling more than a few H-D engine cases I'm still in love with the machinery . I just now prefer oversquare to undersquare twins. So for "jocularities" sake, HAHA the jokes are funny banter.

Ride a Harley
Ride the Best.
Ride a mile
Push the rest.

Why do harley riders wear fringe?
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So you can tell they are moving.

The problem with the Harley powered planes is this opens the door for two new subcultres.
1. The outlaw pilot - the 1% who breaks all the rules, flies in club colours, refuses to fly japanese aircraft, custom paint job and chrome on his plane, and flies to live/lives to fly.
2. The mid life crisis pilot - works as a CPA, bored with life but too dull to have an affair, wants the world to think he's cool because he flies a hog, secretly scared of meeting up with the outlaw pilot or his club.

Either way you'll be able to find out where these guys land by the oil slicks on the runways and in the hangers.

One of my favorites.

A Honda rider, a Ducati rider and a Harley Davidson rider were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze after a long day’s ride. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them, impounding their bikes in the process. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Harley Davidson rider was first in line (he had drunk the most), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Harley Davidson rider had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Ducati rider was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through. The Ducati rider had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Honda rider was the last one up (he had drunk the least), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said: "You ride a Honda. You support the greatest motorcycle and car producer in the world. I myself ride a Fireblade and have many Acuras in my fleet. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thanks, your most Royal highness", the Honda rider replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes!"

"Not only are you an honorable and powerful man, you are also very brave" the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

"Tie the Harley Davidson rider to my back." The Honda rider replied.