[Old Fart]

A child asked his father why their pet cat had died on its back with its legs in the air.
"It is easier for Jesus to pick him up and take him to heaven," he explained.
A few days later the father came home and his child came running to him all excited.
"Whats wrong?" he asked the child.
"Oh Daddy we almost lost Momma today . I went in her room and her legs were straight up in the air and she was yelling 'Oh Jesus' and if it weren't for Uncle Ned holding her down she would have been gone."