[Old Fart]

An Irishman goes to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church."Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I hadrelations with Nookie Green twice last month."

The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's."

Soon after, another Irishman enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had relations with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months."
This time the priest questions, "Who is Nookie Green?"
"A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replies.

"Very well," sighs the priest. "Go and say ten Hail Mary's."

At Mass the next morning, as the priest prepares to deliver his sermon, a tall, voluptuous, gorgeous redhead woman enters the sanctuary.The eyes of every man in the church fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest. Her dress is green and very short with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp, as the woman dress sits without taking care to pull her dress down.

The priest turns to the altar boy and whispers, "Is that Nookie Green?"
The altar boy replies, "No, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes..."